James wrote a picture book about intrusive questions, and as we share an instagram account we’ve inevitably chatted to other disabled people about the whole thing. The awkward, probing questions strangers ask – the impossibility of how to reply.

Over on Instagram, the idea of a card came up – a while ago now. And frankly opinion was divided about how well it might work, especially in interactions that can be fraught, or turn hostile. But enough people were keen on the idea that we went ahead. If you’d like to print your own (for free), or order some – find them here.

There was agreement that a one-stop website would be useful. Because we’re all arguing away as individuals – finding a way to answer the questioner is hard. And trying to explain to non-disabled family, friends, colleagues why intrusive questions from strangers – even when the strangers have good intentions and are trying to be nice – can be really difficult.

New ideas are hard. And for most non-disabled people, this is a new idea.

It’s easy to minimise one voice. We hope – and believe – it’s harder to swat away multiple voices. So we’ve gathered together numerous disabled voices – a choir of disabled people leading very different lives, all making the same point.

A quick note – disability is not a monolith. And not everyone agrees with us. But we’re not trying to be an unbiased source here – we’re trying to turn the tide against the status quo – that ‘it’s always best to ask’. The idea that other people’s curiosity trumps our privacy and trauma. We have no argument at all with disabled people who are happy to answer questions. But we do want to stop the assumption that every single disabled person can be expected to educate at the drop of a hat.

Sometimes, we’re just trying to buy a pint of milk. Let us buy milk. (McDonalds, a mojito, apples, etc…)

If all this applies to you, I hope this website is useful, and perhaps makes you feel less alone. It really, really, isn’t just you.

Lucy – with James – Catchpole